Sweta, Augustia and Me

Her name was Sweta. She trailed behind me in the village. Leading a stash of children, loneliness radiated from her being. I would turn and smile and wave at her she would hide her face and fall back with the crowd. "What is your name?" I ask. She doesn't understand.
We lead the children to the center of the village doing a program for them. At the end our translator said to pray for the children. Everything in me screamed "tell her about Jesus!" How could I? She didn't know my name. The Spirit inside me gently whispered, "Tell her I love her."
Her eyes captured me. Her loneliness compelled me. The dot on her forehead motivated me. The language barrier terrified me. But in obedience I turn to this little girl, and with some prodding  and other children's help, I learned her name was Sweta and she was 4. But she ran away. I prayed for a few more children, but I had to tell her. So I followed her and room her hand. I start to say the most important truth I have ever been told, and a girl, my angel, appeared out of nowhere. She said "I'll translate." I said, "Sweta, Jesus loves you so much!" She smiled, and lingered with me for a while. The other girls name was Augustia. She said "I love Jesus too." I got to encourage her and tell he to share Jesus with her friends. Her father is away and she said "I miss him, but Jesus is my friend.
I made two friends that night and I learned my obedience will be rewarded. If God tells me to go, he will provide a way for it to work. He is faithful, and he cared enough about a little girl named Sweta. I pray she will always remember the white girl who held her hand and gave her the greatest gift she could receive. God cared enough about Augustia who was a little discouraged to be the only one who loved Jesus to send me to encourage her heart. And he cares enough about me to teach me a tiny lesson of obedience. The way Jesus aligned all of our stories together amazed me.

So this week we have moved to Salem, India. The food is so much spicier and India hasn't gotten any less silly or rediculous. Like  stopping our van because the is a herd of goats in the middle of the road. But his voice is so clear to me, and I am finding the line between recieving his love in the morning, and giving it throughout the day, pouring into these people. And at the end of the day singing of his faithfulness. 

Dynamite

What a week it has been. A few words to sum it up: God is so faithful, God is so good. God loves you so much!

So many eyes watch me, as if the words I have to say are the most valuable things they have ever heard. I feel the familiar pounding of my heart, knowing that because of their story I just heard, mine might change their lives. I launch into a story I know to well, my own. This woman takes care of 8 children. 4 of her own, 4 of her deceased sister's. I tell them of a pain similar, a hurt they know just as well, but I add one thing they didn't experience. The love of Jesus, the goodness and the faithfulness of my God. I am blown away that God still chooses to use my story, almost on a daily basis, even though it isn't finished, even though it sometimes still hurts a lot, even though sometimes I wrestle with God, he still chooses to use me in my imperfection.
Maybe I'll never see the impact of my story, maybe I'll never know if it was worth it, but the strength God gives me each time, the words and the passion that come from the deep places within me, tell me that it is worth it.
Because when Jesus whispers to me, "When you are weak, then you are strong." Someone once told me the greek translation of the word strong in that Bible verse actually means dynamite. He tells me I am dynamite.Each time I share words that come straight from God, or bible verses to a hurting family, I know I am dynamite. Each time I pray, Jesus reminds me I have the same power that raised him from the dead within me. I am dynamite.
I can only hope with all my heart that years down the road the five year old girl who lost her mom will remember the white girl that held her hand and said, "I understand." I can only pray the woman who was distracted by the fact that we were so white and a baby chipmunk was in our hands, will remember the words of the gospel, the words she prayed, not just adding another god to her list, but realizing how worth it he is. Or maybe one of the 1000 children we spoke in front of, representing 84 villages would have their lives change and take it home to their families.
It brings me so much joy to return to villages after a week and have children shout my name, only wanting to touch my hand and see if I still remember the very little Tamil they taught me.So much joy to see a man and woman have healed legs, but more importantly healed hearts because they asked him to be their Savior.
Dramas, schools, photography and babies. I love this ministry so much!!
And as I finish this week, this blog, I hear Jesus whispering, "You're dynamite." And I can't help but smile (:

One Girl, One Village, One God

One girl from a little town in America with nothing to offer except a testimony of the Lord's faithfulness. Sent to one woman in one village in one city in this one world to share the love of Jesus and his faithfulness. One God to go before me.

The faithfulness of the one true God is incredible to me. For years a woman waited to have a baby, losing 2 in the process. For years she prayed to her false gods... nothing happened. Two years ago, some missionaries came and prayed with her for a child. 2 years later I'm sitting in her yard as she holds her precious son, and tells me, "I still worship the other gods." 

How, when she has seen the faithfulness of the one true God, can she still say I worship this stone who cannot see me, cannot hear her?

How can she hold that promise of God in her arms and still say no? 

So I pray with my feeble words that my story will leave a footprint and she will remember the words we say to her. I pray that she will find healing because she has seen where I have been.

I'm in awe at how the Lord has chosen to use me, he has said, "Leah, I love you and I chose you to do this task because I want them!"

I am loved enough by God to be a vessel that carries his message of love to a tiny village in India, where as I sit sharing my testimony a herd of goats runs around me and I can't help but giggle and say "Oh India..." I am loved enough by God to satisfy my need of seeing results as he says, "My grace is sufficient." I am loved by a God who paints a beautiful sunrise for me when I hike a mountain at 5 am to sing praises to him. I am loved enough by God to stay behind and meet this amazing old woman whose eyes are desperate. Or to see a little girl in a school and smile at her because despite the fact that she has a hindu dot on her forehead, her eyes tell me differently. She has Jesus in her heart and I pray that she holds him close. I am loved to encourage a 16 year old girl whose family doesn't know Jesus but she tells me, "I still pray." I am loved that much to be given all these stories, to be used by God for all his glory.

This week I'm learning what the old camp song I learned as a child means to me, "Listen to the Lord as he speaks softly, listen to the words of perfect man, listen to the Lord as he speaks softly Listen even when you don't understand." 

Well, I have had so many silly memories this week like accidentally cursing the ground where the apples come from while trying to pronounce a child's name, and also some beautiful things like sharing my testimony on the dirt floor of an Indian hut or listening to Indian Christian's pray in Tamil or sing praises to the Lord. I've seen prayers answered when I pray that God will fill this new church and a stash of children come in from the village. I have found what I love, being surrounded by children as I teach them the love of Jesus (:

Prayer requests: 

-the language barrier has been very difficult for me... pray that I wouldn't withhold words because I don't want to overwhelm the translator.

-pray for rain!

-pray for our team's unity (:

I'll see you next week!!

Oh India

 Sitting cross-legged in a tiny hut, on the other side of the world, drinking chai, with as many people that you could pack in that tiny dark-lit space. There is hope in this room, the people's stories are incredible that stretch across time, and even if I have just one hour will this family, will I use it to share the never-ending love that I have? The unbroken hope that lives inside me?

Oh India is all you can say, when you are driving down the street and pretty convinced you are going to hit another car, horns honking and cows EVERYWHERE, holding baby chickens that randomly walk into the hut. I've been here a week and have had probably 300 cups of chai tea. The food is so painfully spicy sometimes, but the Lord is giving me grace. I try to pronounce children's names but end up cursing the place the apples come from... teaching duck duck goose as hen hen cow and seeing so much joy in their faces..
There is trash everywhere, but this place is so beautiful, you can see it when you look into their stunning eyes. The poverty is not so overwhelming when you see the way they face it with strength. They are a people of worship, the story of Jesus is a strange one for them to accept, but I believe our love will show them still a better way.

Because when I look into the eyes of little girl whose eyes are so full of wonder because someone is showing her an ounce of love, my heart breaks because this is something so new to her. When the children laugh because they think it is so silly that I cannot pronounce their words, and all I want to do is tell them Jesus loves you, but the language barrier is almost the same as miles. But I've learned to give love by looking into their eyes, touching their hands, that no one else will touch. My heart is shattered as I walk through a hindu temple and watch a mother teach her child how to lay on the ground, still, worshiping idols that will never breathe. My heart is with the woman who was alone, cursed by witchcraft, in her tiny hut who just longed to feel our touch. The children didn't follow us into her home like they did the others, maybe she was untouchable, but touch is a language that reaches in and destroys the pain.  Looking into the eyes of a woman, who hasn't quite found healing for losing her mom, and being able to share the healing God has brought to me.

Well, lunch is ready, so I gotta go! Thanks for your prayers and such!

Prayer Requests:
The Indians need rain. It hasn't rained her in Madurai and it is making them live in hopeless poverty. Pray that it will come and they'll know it is from the Lord.
That we will be able to be bold and confident sharing our faith.

Hope is Rampant

The animals were restless, the sky wasn't as dark as it usually was, the stars seemed to twinkle just a little brighter. The sorrow that usually reigned in the shepherd's hearts was nearly nonexistent. The king's usual burdens were lifted, their hearts feeling thousands lighter.

An inexpiable hope was rampant in this city.

A lonely innkeeper, no room left in his home, longed to say 'yes' to the family that gave him a strange sense of peace. He longed for the hope that seemed to leap from the joyful young father and weary mother. Giving all he had left, he said, "It's not much, but the stable has room." He lifted his eyes and knew it was an answer to their prayers. As smiles danced on their lips. The young mother placed her fingers on her large middle. She said "He's happy."

Hope was rampant in this old innkeeper's heart. 

The baby came painlessly, letting out a cry in the night. The cry that initiated hope. It set fire to the anticipation of the years. He came quietly, but the lowly knew. The animals almost danced in their grazing through the fields at night. The earth groaned in expectation of what this meant for Creation itself. The shepherd's watch a host of angels, the most magnificent sight they had ever seen, sing of hope, sing of peace, sing of joy. The night was holy, they knew. The innkeeper watched from his window, as a glow from the fields screamed hope to his hopeless heart. He watched the young family, and for the first time believed the stories his ancestors had passed through the ages. A Savior would come, a Messiah would arrive. Immanuel, God was finally with us. He didn't know how, but there was something about that baby, that tiny baby, that the mother lovingly placed in his arms that ignited a fire in his heart. He saw Love in that baby's fiery eyes. A furious Love that would stop at nothing. A passionate Love that was captivating his soul. 
"What's his name?" He whispered in awe as the baby wrapped a tiny fist around his finger.
"Jesus, God rescues." The young mother smiled.
The scriptures he had memorized as a boy shouted in his heart, "For unto us a child is born, to us a son is given; and his name shall be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace."
He knew this was that baby, beyond a shadow of doubt, this baby was hope incarnate. This baby restored life to his broken soul within moments. This baby made all the hurt of all the years disappear. This baby looked deep into his soul and said, "I AM." And this lonely, old innkeeper, frail and broken, believed for the first time.

Hope was rampant for the world.

Each shepherd that came to kneel before this baby, with nothing to offer but themselves, was changed. They looked into the eyes of Justice and Mercy and felt forgiveness. They looked at their meaningless life, and this baby, The Son of God, gave them purpose for the first time. 
The kings bowed before, repented of their selfish ways, because they had been called by God himself to serve this land. 

Hope was rampant in this city. 

My heart wanders back to that night, 2000 years ago, and as I stare into this Christmas Eve candle-light, a tiny light in comparison the the Light of that peaceful night. 
 "For God, who said, “Let light shine out of darkness,” made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of God’s glory displayed in the face of Christ."
2 Corinthians 4:6
I may never know what it was like to stare into the eyes of a babe who brought life into the world. I may never know what it was to stand in a stable so strongly reeking of hay, to stand in the most peaceful, yet glorious night in all of history. I may never know what it was like to see the moment when history was changed, when Love breathed his first, when hope burst out of tiny lungs into a grieving world, longing for something more. But I know what it is to be pursued by a furious love, to have a friendship with a jealous Savior. I've experienced the faithfulness of my God who not only came as an infant, and died on the cross for my sins, but lived a life to show me what it means to be fully alive.
 The fear and doubt is fleeing. 

Hope is rampant in my heart.

Faith is...

Do you have faith in the fact that I can change your circumstances? Or do you have faith in me that I am faithful even in the midst of your terrifying circumstances and even if I choose not to pull you out of that?

Faith is so many things. Faith is that place where I am standing on the edge of a rock, miles above the ground and I stare into the scenery and I can trust. If God said jump, would I jump?
Faith is when I see the firey passion of a sunset and it screams promises of return. Yet faith is also when I see the faint colors hidden underneath the clouds as the sky slowly darkens and the sun whispers, "Do you remember my covenant?"
Faith is when my world spins faster and seems to stop in the dead of night and I have only the stars, so far away, reminding me of the light.
Faith is taking myself away from the busy, fake lights, and looking at the real ones, that have been placed in heaven for me.
Faith is knowing that the stars are the holes in the blanket that separate me from heaven, they are the glory of God.
Faith is whispering, "I still believe..." through the tears, through the clouds that make the dark night all the darker.
Faith is a funny thing, because I can have so little, I can be like the man in the Bible who wanted Jesus to heal his child so bad who said, "I believe; help my unbelief."
Faith is in God when he says yes. Faith is in God when he says no. Faith is believing He can change my circumstances, but it is trusting in Him when He chooses not to.
Faith isn't always a symphony chorus making a beautiful sound filled with hope and wonder. Faith can be a tear that falls and splashes the ground as I look up and know who my Creator is. Faith isn't always standing on the rooftops and shouting the glories of God filled to the fullest with all of the gifts He has given. Faith can be standing with empty hands and expressing your need.
This week I saw a tiny act of faith that gave me volumes of faith. I expressed my financial need for my trip to India coming so quickly to a family. And a precious little girl gave me all the coins she had in a plastic bag. It was an expression of her faith, that even though it was small, she was giving out of a pure heart, and heart that wanted to see me go to India so I could share the hope that I have with them. She played a vital role, and her giving heart is changing mine, to be grateful and to be faithful.
Faith is little, Faith is small.
My faith is in my God who promises to be faithful even when I am not.
Faith is a heart in a place knowing it isn't enough yet trusting that God is.

Worth It All

I am in the last week of lecture phase. Where has the time gone? This season has been so incredible. I have made some of the best friends in my life, my relationship with the Lord has gone deeper than I ever thought possible, my faith stretched beyond my comprehension.


Something about developing a right view of God softens your heart. One thing I have loved about this season in my life is that I have been encouraged to wrestle with the hard things, wrestle like Jacob with God until morning, until I know, without a shadow of doubt who my God is. I have learned that some truth doesn't come easy, some truth my heart tries so hard to believe but it doesn't know how. I have learned to rest in the arms of Jesus. He is good like that, He will wrestle with your heart, fighting with it to believe the truth, but when you are too exhausted to go on, he lets you rest. He cradles your heart and speaks love over you. I have learned the faithfulness of the Lord. He is unchanging despite my swaying emotions. He is like the sunset. When it is my world that turns, not himself, he paints me a beautiful picture, promising 'I am still with you', as the dark night closes in. He gives me the stars, people in my life who light up the night and guide me to the truth, reminders of the faithfulness of my God. He gives me the moon, which is the Word of God and reflects himself when I can't seem to see him.
My favorite quote was written by a man in a concentration camp, at his lowest point, he carved into a wall, "I believe in the sun even when I can't see it. I believe in love even when I can't feel it. I believe in God even when He is silent." He knew that it wasn't the Lord who had changed, but his world that spun away from seeing the Light of the Son.
He has proved his faithfulness to me, in bringing me through a journey of being closer to His heart. He is patient to my stubborn heart that oftentimes doesn't want to hike the mountain before me, but oh, once on the top the view is incredible. He is my God, who I love learning more about and growing deeper in my love with Him. There is so much more to love, so much more to learn, and this is only the beginning of a beautiful journey.
I've reached this place of freedom. I know I still have far to go.
At times it is hard, and I lift my weary eyes and say, "Oh Lord, how long?" But I have come to this place, where I know that when I am in the arms of my Jesus at the end of this life it will all be worth it. The struggles, the tears, the good times, the laughter, it will all be worth it.Because Jesus is Worth It All.

This song by Rita Springer has been a song   that has really touched my heart this week.

What's next: I'll be home in exactly one week!!! I'd love to see as many of you as possible! Send me an email if you'd like to get together (: 

I'll be home for 2 weeks. I will then come back to Louisville and leave for North Carolina for 10 days for my Stateside Outreach. And then, FINALLY, on January 8th I will leave for India for 6 weeks! I am so excited!! 

Contact me: clayjarsoftreasure@gmail.com