The Truth in the Wilderness

The terrain was my heart. This breathtaking scene before me was the landscape of my soul. My heart, full of mountains and valleys, rivers and deserts, was full. At 5400', I could not avert my eyes from the majestic beauty laid out before me.

Mount Rogers wasn't my first mountain conquered, nor was it my hardest, but it was a mountain, and victoriously I was standing on the top. As my eyes took in the miles of mountains before me, dread seeped into my heart.
There were more mountains to climb.
Don't get me wrong, I love climbing mountains, I love embarking on new adventures, but this mountain was hard. We had endured extreme cold, long nights, heavy packs and getting lost. A familiar feeling tried to wedge its way into my heart: it wasn't hopelessness I was feeling, we were beyond that, it was homesickness. O, how I longed for my heavenly home. How I am longing to be clothed in the full garments of righteousness, in the beautiful rest of Heaven because this terrain is getting rough, my feet are tired, and I am frighteningly unsteady. 

And the truth was, each of those hard things painted me a heart-wrenching picture of my own life. 

The extreme cold resembled the storm that tried to ravage me to my core. But there was gratitude, people saw my distress, mostly because I had the courage to be vulnerable and tell them how cold I was, they donated their warm things to me. Will I have the courage to be vulnerable in this trial? To take off my strength that I wear like armor, and reveal that I'm shaking to my core? To show that I am unsteady and I have questions and there is still a real struggle?

 The weight I carry has become a burden."Come to me." I heard the familiar words, "all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest." Weary? That's about right. It's the very definition of my name. Burdened? I'd say so, my pack was heavy. I was carrying less of what my true needs were and more of what I thought I might need. But there is a way to carry a backpack, that it rests just properly on your hips and becomes one with you, it's possible I did it properly. But there was this invitation. This gentle, kind, loving invitation to remove the burden and enter into rest. "Come to me." Why was it so hard to accept the invitation? Do I believe that He would give me rest? "Take my yoke upon you and learn from me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls." Maybe it's hard because I don't know what His yoke is, maybe it's hard because I can't imagine carrying anything different than what I have been carrying for so long. I have what works for me. Does it make me thrive? And what would happen if I actually let go(d)?

We were lost in the wilderness. After a serious of unfortunate events and quick decisions, we found ourselves on what we thought was the right path, but truly it was wrong. We came to a place where we were unsure of how we would weather the windy night, with little shelter, a lack of food and no communication with the rest of our group. But we prayed that God would guide our footsteps in the potentially dangerous predicament we found ourselves in. And he gave us wisdom, guided our reading of the map and we made it back to camp before sundown. Trust was the lesson he taught me out of this, trusting our circumstances to him and trusting others into his hands.

The mountain was hard, but it was beautiful. The storm was strong, but it created something lovely. My pack was heavy, but I learned perseverance. We saw water provided out of nothing, we shared warmth inside of cold tents, we processed what it meant for us to be lost in the wilderness and the coping mechanisms we had. We laughed and we cried, we fell and we stood strong. The mountain painted a picture, and I longed to stay on top. I was thriving on top. But there was a valley down below, where the things I learned on the mountain would be utilized and called upon. How vividly I encountered God on top of the mountain would be the light in the darkness of the valley below. But I could hear his invitation to enter into the valley, which would be a different kind of hard and unsure.

2 Corinthians 4:16-18 says,

         "So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed       day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory            beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal."

On our life mountains, we do not lose heart. But doesn't God see that our outer selves are wasting away? Doesn't He see how tired this heart is, and how weary this body has become? Doesn't He hear my groaning? How can I not lose heart?

2 Corinthians 5:4-5 says,

            "For while we are still in this tent, we groan, being burdened - not that we would be unclothed          but that we would be further clothed, so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life. He         who has prepared us for this very thing is God, who has given us the Spirit as a guarantee."

These verses are filled with deep hurt and immense truth. My vision can be clouded with hopelessness, but as it fades away, I hear, "I see you. I know you. I feel this with you."

We groan, anxiously waiting for the time when what is mortal will be swallowed up by life. And this next statement is stunning. He who has prepared us for this very thing is GOD. 

He who has prepared us for this mountain is God. He who is walking with us on this mountain is God. He who asks for our faith, even though everything is cloudy and we can't see feet in front of us, is God. He who knows the struggle is God. He who has felt our afflictions and knows them intimately is the God who is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison.

This weight of glory is beyond all comparison.  It does not compare to the glory I encountered on top of the mountain. It does not compare to the majesty of the wild ponies. And it surely does not compare to the struggle it took in reaching the top. This weight of glory is beyond all comparison.

With that truth, how can I not accept the perfect invitation into rest? How can I not follow GOD into the valley? How can I not trust him with everything in me? Oh yes, I'll groan, I'll hurt, I'll mourn. Surely, I'll be fragile and unsteady. But the thing about courage is that there is still fear, but there is action despite the fear.
Yes, I will still feel deeply, yes, I might break, "But I have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. I am afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed, always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies."

That is how I will not lose heart. By letting the LIGHT OF LIFE shine into my broken jar of clay so it burns like a kaleidoscope. And if climbing a mountain, extreme cold, getting lost and heavy packs can all be a part of the painful lessons of glory, then I am ready to face them head on. If all these things that make me feel hurt and shatter my clay, creates me into a better vessel for God's Light, then I will accept the invitation into rest, then I will enter into the night of wrestling so that I can know him more. 

how jumping off a cliff taught me to trust Jesus more

I found myself on top of the cliff for a few reasons.

1. I trusted my friend who coaxed me up there with my life.
2. My adventurous spirit got the best of me as I was watching the other crazy people jump.
3. I was probably crazy.

But there I was, on top of the cliff, remembering everything my parents told me when I was younger, "If your friend jumped off a cliff, would you jump too?" Of course, my answer was no.
But here I was, on top of a cliff, beside a beautiful waterfall, preparing to jump, because my friend told me to.

What an odd sense of dread and exhileration overcame me as I stood approximately 40 feet above the water. There was one rock in which I was supposed to leap from. And it was small. The water seemed so much further away then when I had been on the bottom looking up.

After a good 8 minutes of battling back and forth between hating myself for climbing up here and eager all at the same time, I was overcome with a barely an ounce of courage

and

             I
                               J
                                 U
                                     M
                                          P
                                              E
                                                  D.

How marvelous and dreadful it was to be falling weightlessly through the air.
How intense the impact when the water smacked my body.
How fearful I became when I was sure I would never find the surface.
How deeply happy I was when I breathed in for what felt like the first time in years.

Oddly enough, A few days later, someone encouraged me:
"God is putting a cliff before you and he wants you to trust him unconditionally and jump."
This person did not know that I had jumped off a cliff a few days previously.
But God knew, and certainly he was going to take advantage of this analogy.

I"m on the edge of the cliff and I'm part way between an overwhelming dread and a small ounce of courage. At the same time, I'm falling weightlessly through the sky and at the bottom barely breathing. It's a cicular pattern in my head, this cliff.

And yet, The LORD is here. He is the water encapsulating me at the bottom. He is my hope that I will not die and he is my encouragement at the top promising me how worth it this will be.

I don't know what your cliff is. Maybe it's like mine and you've already jumped and you hated it the first time and loved it all at the same time, but God is asking you to jump again. Maybe it's encountering grief and anger. Maybe it's forgiving the one who victimized you to the point of terror. Maybe, it is learning independence. Maybe it is loving deeply.
Your cliff could be many things, but the one thing I've learned about jumping off cliffs (with water at the bottom) is that thy are always worth it. You will always have a story and there is always reason to trust the ONE who calls you there.

Deep calls to deep
    at the roar of your waterfalls;
all your breakers and your waves
    have gone over me.
8 By day the Lord commands his steadfast love,
    and at night his song is with me,
    a prayer to the God of my life.

When a Heart Breaks

Her heart broke right in front of me.

I watched it fumble in her hands

and suddenly 

it fell

Silently to the floor.

It transpired in slow motion

there were pieces 

and fragments. 

I slowly looked back up to her face

it crumpled. 

a tear morphed into sobs

until her entire body gave way to 

the painful process of mourning. 

My heart wrenched inside me,

twisting until I felt a piece of her pain.

Her grief transported me 

to a place, I knew all too well.

A sadness I longed to forget,

a brokenness I didn't want to keep. 

I wanted to sweep up her heart

return it to her ribcage, whole

unscathed.

My prayers became fervent.

What do I do?

What can I do?

How can I watch her break?

How can I give her comfort?

The answers came, 

sure and steady.

If I have the Holy Spirt  

living within me

and if he is powerful

and if he speaks to the depths of my soul,

Then I have truth that shines through lies,

the comfort that breaks through pain,

hope that lights up the darkness

a peace that sits beside still waters.

I have yet to understand

all the little memories

that stay with me

and all the words 

that shaped my thinking.

I don't always know why heartache enters our souls,

and our sin-stained world has allowed

brokenness to mar our skin

and weaken our spirits.

But I do know my God 

and HE is good.

I know HIM 

and HE is kind. 

I know that the moment I saw her heart shatter,

I saw his shatter too.

When I wanted nothing more but to 

heal her heart

I know HE did more.
And I cannot understand why her heart had to break in such a way

or why I had to witness her sadness

and return to my own.

But I do know that no matter how unsteady my ground

and how shaky my feet

he is steady

he is sure

he will hold me fast.

he will heal her heart.

I now know that he doesn't tell me this life will be easy, but he does say he will be with me. He doesn't promise to take away the hurt, but he does covenant to hold me up. I trust him with my heart and I pray that every day, new opportunities will arise for me to share my hope, impart truth, prophecy love, give comfort and pray fervently. That moment, the one where I saw a heartbreak, will forever sit with me. Because the Lord has used it to confirm in me his truths, my gifts, and his heart.

when a heart breaks,

so does Jesus'.

When a heart shatters,

we see Jesus. 

adventure; fernweh; saudade (n)

Do you know what I mean when I say it was a perfect vacation?

It was with the very best people. It was as if for one beautiful week our souls had been fused together, our reunion held us tight. 

It was in the most beautiful of places. Surrounded by waterfalls speaking to my heart and beautiful mountains calling our names. 

It was lovely. There was laughter constantly in the air, the fresh aroma of memories being created, and the sweetness of adventure. 

Do you know?

And how good is my God who gifted me this precious time, these sweet hours to be forever etched in my heart. It was the beginning of the summer when he promised my heart excitement. Disappointed for my initial plans of travel fell through,  he planned bigger. He whispered, "Unexpected adventure and unexpected friendship." Straight to my soul, in the part that was the most needing, the most hungry for those things. 

The friendship came in the most expected place that I suspected it the least. And it was gentle, a soul connection, one heart tied to another instantaneously as if we were born to know one another. 

The adventure came from a quick text, a perusal on Kayak Flights, and a stash of saved tips and babysitting money hidden in my drawer. And it was unexpected and freeing and brilliant all at the same time.

I found a flight and it was cheap, a one way ticket to adventure. My friend answered my text, Yes, always down for an adventure. People seemed concerned, telling me I would need to budget more than I planned, did I really think I could afford this? Was this worth my money?

My heart fashioned for adventure seemed to care less about their silly concerns. The summer took forever to get to the day when I stepped on the plane. And then I was there, 30,000 feet in the sky, my heart even higher.

And I wonder, now that it's over, now that I'm deep in the blues of post-adventure depression, I wonder what God was teaching me on that sweet adventure. Day 1 began with some hikes to some beautiful waterfalls. The water was ice, but we had a picnic on a rock and I'll have to say that my lunch view was better than yours. We saw the sundial bridge, and drove the car flipping pennies, heads right, tails left, to tell us our final destination.

 Burney falls was stupendous. Gallons of water pouring all over the sides and into the mountain and out strange locations, the water still crystal clear. But my thirst was quenched at the Hatchet Creek Falls. There is something about floating on a log and underneath a waterfall that filled my soul which overflowed. My head fell back in laughter as Rachel screamed, "I don't want to be on the side that goes under the waterfall." But all I wanted was to keep going as Amos pushed us under the flow of the falls.

Mt. Shasta is stunning. As I looked up admiring it's beauty and wondered if maybe this was the type of mountain Jesus was talking about when he said our faith can move mountains. Because on the sides of it's steep hills, there were gentle streams of melting snow and flourishing wildflowers that had a Psalm 23 feel. The Lord is my shepherd and I have no want. He leads me beside these still waters and makes me lie down in green pastures.
 

The Redwoods were beyond comparison. Around every curve in the trail, audible "Wows" were whispered out of my mouth, immediately followed by the clunk of my water bottle as I scurried into a tree or ran to try and wrap my arms around it. We walked for hours and it still didn't get old. We walked until exhaustion demanded we find the car and our giggles were a sure sign we were entering the stage of the sleepy laughter.

Driving way too fast down back curvy roads late at night with Adele serenading us on max volume and laughing until you can't breathe because of the differences between pigs and flamingos. Some people call it reckless, but I call it living. These are the moments I live for, these are the memories I'll treasure. It is these moments I'll try to explain to you, but they are my memories and mean more to me then you'll ever know.

California was the adventure of a lifetime. It was worth every penny I spent. I think travel does something to me. It's a virus in my blood, but it has done nothing to harm me, instead it has strengthened me, taught me and grown me in incredible ways. God's voice is so much louder when I'm in new places and my heart feels alive as I stand small next to ancient trees and in awe in front of magnificent mountains. I see his Father heart when my friends speak encouragement into my life and God speaks through them to show me how to live my life more for him. The travel bug is in my heart and I can't get it out. So if every adventure begins with such a high and ends with a deep longing to return but fulfills me like this one, then keep taking me.

Travel changes my perspective. It is unexpected and vibrant and brilliant and I think it is so much like the God I serve. Oh how intimately he knows my heart. Inside and out. How wonderful that he treasures me so well that he provides these adventures.  He knows each intimate part of me. He knows I need road trips and laughter. He knows that he created my heart without borders. And he knows I need planes and cars, waterfalls and mountains. Heat and cold. He knows I need change or my heart becomes restless, I drown in these ritualistic days.

California was a gift. Sometimes God needs not say anything to me. Instead, he wraps these elegant gifts. They are packaged in priceless friends and breathtaking memories. California was God's reminder to me of how he truly loves me, he intimately knows me and he treasures me.

So I guess I wrote this to help me cope with the wanting to return, but I also wrote it for you. I want you to experience life to the fullest the way I do, I want you to jump off of waterfalls, buy plane tickets spontaneously, hike mountains and touch the coast on the other side of the world. I know a God and he is good all the time, and he is constant and faithful but he is unexpected and surprising. And with all my heart, I want you to know him too because he embarks on the most exciting of adventures with us. Life.

The Unspoken of Love Is

I forgot.
I got so distracted. So tangled up in one small characteristic that I couldn't get my heart around.

I missed it. I missed the message. Because after years of reading, "Love is patient, Love is kind..." I decided that patience was the one that needed the most work. Suddenly, without my realization, love is patient was all there was to love.

I encountered LOVE himself, I experienced the depths of his patience, his goodness, his kindness. And yet it was still a slap to my face when I moved onto the second characteristic of Love.

Love is Patient. Check.
Love is kind.

Love

is

kind.

I could hear his voice. And it was gentle, but oh, how I feel the sword of truth slicing the marrow of my soul.

I was patient, but was I kind in my love?

I did not envy, but did I boast?

I was not arrogant, but was I rude?

How often do I insist on my own way and if I do not get it am irritable in return?

I do not rejoice at wrong, but do I delight in truth?

Love is beyond patience.
Love is all of these characteristics that I cannot embody in my own strength.
Love is Someone. Love is the one, knocking, waiting, outside the door to our souls.
And when is that that we will quit trying so hard to be something that we are not.

When is it that we will fall, quickly, wholly, completely, into his bountiful grace?

This is why just a few short chapters later it does not say, "Grab a hold of love." It does not say, "Become love." As if it were a small, quick act. Instead, chapter 14 begins, "Pursue love."

Pursue. Dioko. 1. to make to run or flee. 2. to run swiftly in order to catch a person or thing--to pursue (in a hostile manner.)

I am not a biblical scholar. But this word is translated 28 times as persecute. It seems odd, but maybe  the intention is that those reading this text would see the absolute haste demanded, the intense necessity of pursuing love, not only the characteristic but ultimately the person, Jesus Christ. 

This LOVE is steadfastly patient. It is unwaveringly kind. It does not lust after other things, it's only boast is in Christ. It is not self-conceited, and it is not rude. It is self-sacrificial, and it delights in Truth. Love is Christ. And he bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things and endures all things. This Love, This Savior, he never ends.

I am falling, finally, into his bountiful grace. Love will not come from some place deep inside of me, from things I enjoy and things I desire. Instead, this LOVE will come from living a life side by side with the greatest love of them all. It will not be about my own strength, or grabbing hold of love, instead, it will be pursuing love, swiftly and purposefully.

meditations on first corinthians

Precious stones. The splendor of the riches of Gold, the softness of silver glinting in the sun. Ocean blue sapphire, Forest green emeralds, Fairytale amethyst. Ruby, diamond, opal.  These precious metals that fire will test, will not be burned. Built upon the steadfast and sure foundation of Jesus Christ, we are being made into the Temple of God. Do we not know that The Spirit of holiness and purity and love dwells within us? The temple of God must be holy. He is creating us into his holy temple. 

The Holy Spirit dwells within me. YAHWEH, the God of the Old Testament, the God of splendor and beauty and love and kindness. The God who parted waters, conquered Kingdoms, called a people to himself; that God has made me his temple. He saw me. My foundation was unsteady, I was created by the sand, ready to give into anything that came my way. I was built with wood and hay and straw, as soon as the fire hit, I would be nothing. Gone. Hopeless. The fire had already begun. My heart, quickly disintegrating. 

What did He say, though? The HOLY YAHWEH looked at a fallen, broken, people and worked wonders. The God whose foolishness is wiser than man and weakness is stronger. This God gave us a truth that all would marvel at, like a child watching in awe as a small toy is wound up to play its game. But to the world, to those lost, to those who we were once like, it is folly. It is absurd. 

We demand signs. Show us what we have already seen, we cry. We seek sense and logic. We search books and science, attempting to come up with reasons as to how God could possibly be real. How could this make sense? A perfect god-man? Walking earth? Sacrificed for a people who might never care? But to those who are called, it is the POWER and the WISDOM of God. 

The mystery of the Gospel is deeper than I can explain. Wider than I know. But it is the truth by which I live my life. The words that have changed everything. I devour my Bible like it's where I get my breath and life. Paul tells me to imitate him as he imitates Christ. Do you know what that asks of me and you?

We are fools for Christ's sake, but you are wise in Christ. We are weak, but you are strong. You are held in honor, but we in disrepute. To the present hour we hunger and thirst, we are poorly dressed and buffeted and homeless, and we labor, working with our hands. When reviled, we bless; when persecuted, we endure; when slandered, we entreat. We have become and are sill, like the scum of the world, the refuse of all things.

We are like the scum of the world, the refuse of all things. How can we impart the wisdom and power of God if we are the scum of the world? The beauty is that I am only the messenger and it is he who softens hearts and changes lives. The most amazing part is that I was nothing. My worth equated to how quickly it was to burn a house built with hay on the sand. But how good God is to move my foundation, change my heart, build me up with precious metals and stones. 

What no eye has seen, nor ear heard,

nor the heart of man imagined, 

what God has prepared for those who love him--

THESE THINGS God has revealed to us through the Spirit. 

Does it blow you away? Are you in awe? Like when you try and jump a wave but get tossed around by the immensity of the ocean and it takes your breath away? You didn't see it coming but here you are recovering from the beauty of this truth. Once, my life was unknown. Now, I can know God's plan for my life, but more miraculously, I can know God!  

Oh, how beautiful the wisdom of God to map out my life.

Oh, how wonderful the power of God to change a sinful heart like mine. 

Hallelujah, for the Kingdom of God, does not come in talk, but in power. 

Hallelujah, that I have been chosen to be a daughter of this Kingdom.

Paul ends Corinthians with the simplistic truth that has changed humanity. I am reminded of the Gospel. If it were not true that the Gospel was the POWER of God and the WISDOM of God, then we would be the most pitied of them all. If Christ had not been raised, how futile my life would be. BUT PRAISE BE TO OUR GOD, because indeed Christ has been raised from the dead, he is sitting at the right hand of the father interceding for me, and that is the truth, that is the Gospel by which I stand.

So come, Lord Jesus, build us up to be your precious Kingdom. You are our steadfast foundation, build us up with the most precious of stones. Let us build one another up with the most precious of truths. Let us LOVE deeply, let us use our gifts to the greatest capacity. Let us seek the encouragement of others, let us bring glory to God, let us flee idolatry and most importantly let us bring glory to God in everything we do. 

**All meditations and Scripture quotes are from 1 Corinthians
This is intended to get you to read the book for yourself! 

a testimony of hope

It was 5 years ago.

5 years ago when I first learned that words can shatter your world.

5 years ago when I discovered how fragile mortality is.

5 years ago when God changed my life.

I was on my first mission trip. Longing to love my surroundings. Wishing it didn't have to be about me. But a call from home that your mother's health has taken a turn for the worse will keep you chained in two locations. Satan tried to make ruin missions for me that week. Instead, God took a terrible situation and he gave me hope. The children screamed hope in my face with the VBS theme song. The woman we served gently spoke hope to my heart as she shared her stories and her love for the LORD.

It was 4 years ago.

4 years ago when I experienced the first summer without a mother.

4 years ago when I returned to Cherokee.

4 years ago when I fell in love with missions.

I was on my second mission trip. Same place, same people, different heart. I was praying, longing for a child who could resonate with my testimony. And God gave me one. His name was Alijah and for the first time, my broken heart was able to minister to another. For the first time, my sadness had purpose. For the first time, I saw God's love penetrate another broken heart. I was hooked. I wanted more.

It was 3 years ago.

3 years ago when I graduated from high school.

3 years ago when the world was at my fingertips.

3 years ago when I made decisions that would plan the rest of my life.

I was on my third mission trip. Same place, same people, same heart. God was confirming, this was my passion. God was speaking, this was his plan, his beautiful purpose. This was wisdom in the dark. I had so much love for these people. I wanted to pour the hope that God had given me into these hearts. I was a little scared. Could I really do this for the rest of my life?

It was 2 years ago.

2 years ago when I was in Nicaragua.

2 years ago when my heart was healed.

2 years ago when joy radiated from my face.

I was on my fifth mission trip. New place, New people, Changed heart. I was where I was passionate. I was sharing the Gospel freely. I was loving children who didn't speak my language. I was laughing with friends. I was joyful in ways I had never been. For the first time I believed without a shadow of doubt this hope I was giving to hearts. My God is good. My God is faithful. My God is beautiful.

It was 1 year ago.

1 year ago when I was unsteady.

1 year ago when I was on the brink of new decisions.

1 year ago when God gained my complete trust.

I was on my first summer in 4 years where I wasn't on a mission trip. I was a little uneasy and a little unsteady. God was taking me into the unknown for the first time. I was going to be a student, I was going to invest in passions I wasn't sure could be developed. I was trusting God FOR EVERYTHING.

It is today.

Today I am amazed.

Today I am in awe.

Today I have open hands.

Today I'm not on a mission trip. But I am on a mission field. I have been wrestling with this small verse in the middle of 1 Corinthians that can change it all. Paul is talking to the Corinthians about their idolatry and their legalism. They were so bound by the rules or on the opposite side of the spectrum and no caring about rules at all. There was disunity. And in the midst of a passage where Paul surrenders his rights to not following certain rules, that he says this, 

"In the same way, the Lord commanded that those who proclaim the Gospel should get their living by the Gospel."

The word living is Zao in Greek. A form of the Greek word Zoe. This is what Jesus talks about when he gives abundant life. Not the life of your mortality, but the life of you living life to the fullest.

Those who proclaim the Gospel should get their abundant living from the Gospel.

Today I get my Zao from the Gospel. It is hard to be the only source of light in a dark workplace. It is hard to write papers and take tests and study. It is hard to be so busy. But my source of consolation through it all is that CHRIST is my center. GOD holds it all. THE LORD directs my path. JESUS saved my soul. the SPIRIT dwells within me. HE is my good news. He is my Gospel. And this is what I will proclaim during school, during work, during my day to day.

Next year I don't know where I'll be.

10 years from now, I can't even dream of what my future will be.

50 years from now, I pray that I look back in AWE, in HOPE, and in utter gratitude.

50 years from now, I hope I look back and say, "I proclaimed the Gospel and because of that, I got my abundant life from the Gospel."