An Identity Worth Holding

We search, desperate for acceptance, desperate to feel wanted and beautiful. We see, the things of our past that are nails on a chalkboard, the things that define us into something less than standard. We hold onto the false identities, the names, the hurts that have given to us as mask to wear, to hide us. But Jesus calls to us, "Remove the mask. I've made you, fearfully and wonderfully. I know you. I have loved you with an everlasting love." Understanding who we are is hard. Because the voices of pain, judging voices and our own hypocritical eyes leave us huddled in a corner, hiding who we are, who we are meant to be. It leaves us placing a garment of shame upon our hearts, and a mask of identity that is personalityless, storyless, and broken.And we know our identity, it's been told to us a thousand times. You are His. You've been bought with a price. You are loved. You are clothed in righteousness. You are you.
Our minds know the answers, but our hearts are afraid to believe.
But hearing Jesus tell me who I am means so much more. I am completely known by Him. He knows me. Yada is the Greek word. To know: an intermingling of souls. This is used in Genesis when Adam and Eve first came together. It is used in Psalm 139. God knows me completely. He knows who I am because He made me! He knows the things in my heart that I hide deep within, and few people have been given access to. And He comes to capture my heart despite the mask I fashioned for myself and the cloak of shame I try so hard to keep on my heart.
He says "Let me define you. Let me be the one who loves you. I know you. I made you. Fearfully and wonderfully."
He knows my strengths, He knows my weaknesses. He was the one who made me with those. He told me I'm joyful, I'm a pillar of strength, I'm his beloved. I will lead others to Him with my love and joy.
Yet if I live with those masks that define who I've become, if I live with those fears leading my life, I'm in chains. Jesus took the key that I threw in an ocean deep, unlocking my soul. But these shackles lay loosely on my wrists, and I'm bound within the fear what it means to be free. What it means to finally not be frightened of people, to not doubt who I am and what I am capable of becoming, what it means to be limitless, free.
This week has resonated with my soul. I keep remembering a quote from my youth pastor who said "Sometimes, you have to keep telling yourself the truth until your heart believes it."
Every morning, I must wake up, I must tell myself, "I am free." I must tell myself who I am, and I must live from my identity, instead of trying to find my identity.
Daily I must listen to Jesus' voice, resting in the Truth of who I am in Him. Because deeper is the place He wants to take me. To the places of my heart I've hidden from society. The crevices of my heart, hidden even to myself.
He wants my heart, and He doesn't have all of it when I cradle so much to myself.
Daily I must live in the truth, Daily. Freedom has become this place I want to aspire to. Now that I've tasted it, I never want to return. So Daily I will decide, Daily I will choose freedom.