The Longing

The wake of someone else's tragedy has taken me back. In light of a familiar pain, my heart feels the loss, the amputation throbs yet again. 

Not as severely, not as overwhelming, but the sadness enters the hallways of my heart. 

And my heart bleeds for the friend who is walking the road of grief I have come to know all to well.

The beautiful longing enters in.

The longing arises out of the ashes that death leaves behind. 

It plants these simple seeds of faith.

Not just for the one I lost. But for what that loss birthed in me. 

It plants within us a desire to have things be the way they were before. They make us desire a better time, a better place.

It makes me long for my heavenly home. Not just because my mom will be there, but because it is this fantasy-like place where there will be no more tears or sorrows. No more fear or pain. This place that seems to be reality in the fairy-tales we watched as a child. This pure, unadultered, unstained place that draws our heart from the place it is now.

I want that place. I want that place where I can walk down streets of gold with only pure joy in my eyes and laughter in my heart, holding hands with Jesus, forever worshipping His greatness, forever communing with Jesus, the one Whom my soul loves.

  And that is what stirs a hope within me. That is what grows and cultivates my longing. 

Paul again so beautifully captures the longing in my favorite book of the bible, 2 corinthians. 

For we know that if the tent that is our earthly home is destroyed, we have a building from God,  a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens. For in this tent we groan, longing to put on our heavenly dwelling...for while we are still in this tent we groan, being burdened-not that we would be unclothed, but that we would be further clothes, so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life.   

 

How I relate to Paul. How I long for heaven on days when I am reminded of the pain. How I long for heaven for my friend who must walk this long and hard journey. 

How I yearn. 

Oh how I desire that beautiful place when sin is no longer a struggle, where death no longer sinks his vicious teeth into the flesh of those I love, where tears no longer burn down my cheeks mourning things I cannot understand. I want that place when I fully experience life abundantly. 
Oh how I want to be there.

But God gives us these stunning words in Revelation. These words of eternal hope and deep comfort.
Jesus whispers them softly to my heart on these days.
"Behold," His gentle words soothe my aching heart, "behold, I am making all things new."
"Behold. I am coming soon."

Those words are the reason for my joy. They are the very reason the bondage of this life has broken away from me. They are the very reason that this light and momentary affliction is nothing in comparison to Jesus. He Himself is the reason why I have taken my eyes off of this world that is growing strangely dim, in light of who He is.
Yes, we hurt. Yes, the Enemy is still out to steal, kill and destroy. But juxtaposed to the Life that He has brought me, I do not lose heart.
Because He is working an eternal weight of glory within me that is impossible to be compared to this affliction I now feel.

This place is filled with longing but it is the perfect place to know Jesus more. I press more into Him, I lean more fully on Him, I worship Him more honestly.
Therefore I cannot lose heart, because I have this treasure that the Lord is holding me. That He is working this out for my good. I have this promise that He is good. He is faithful. My pain will not be meaningless.