Winter Snow

"You came in like a winter snow.
Quiet and soft and slow."

It's been a winter of the soul. The spring and summer were magnificent. The beauty of what happened when my soul finally came alive after so long happened quickly and gloriously. I was free and innocent, daughter of my father in heaven, dancing with him after a terrible tumble that left me in despair for far too long. My trust grew as he awakened spring in my soul and slowly led me, slowly showed me how to dance again. I was alive and I wanted to explore the depth of every forest and every field that He had grown within me and around me. The summer was just that, I ran through every field and every forest. Baffled as a child looking at every intricacy of life God created for me. Amazed, standing on mountaintops. Full of praise looking back at the valleys of tears that He had wiped away. I found new and beautiful places to step foot in, I discovered what pleased his heart and learned how to thrive when everything and everyone around me was so alive. I developed this passionate desire to bring life to every soul, every heart.

But you've already read about that season in my life. 

And then God called me back to the place I wanted to be least. And this winter season of my soul began. I opened my eyes and realized the sun had gotten lower in the sky. 

The fall came quickly, seemingly stealing life from my heart and I had to burrow down deep. 

I was lonely with few local friends, I was fighting battles daily against my flesh and I was waiting for that moment when Jesus would tell me to go back into the ever-green forest that brought me so much life and gave me so much passion. But he wasn't speaking about that. He was showing me that this winter wouldn't last forever. He was telling me that hope would not disappoint me. A lie I had believed for too long was going to be broken. 

"Hope." He said. "Hope in me. Hope in who I am, not in what you can do." 

The lyrics from my favorite Christian band became my melody. 

"If this waiting lasts forever, I'm afraid I might let go." "I could just sit and wait for all your goodness, hope to feel your presence again, but you have called me higher, you have called me deeper." "If there is victory, you sing it over me now, your peace is a melody, you sing it over me now."

The winter has been long. Longer than I've ever known anything to last.

Yesterday, we had a glimpse of spring. My heart was happier than the sun. I had flipflops on and there was this deep joy in my heart, not because of of the spring, but because I know that God is bringing the spring back in my life. 

And I've seen that I needed the winter. I have desperately needed it just as much as I needed the spring. 

The winter has taught me how to hope steadfastly. It has taught me how to hope in The Lord as my only source and nothing else. The winter has taught me to wait. Patiently. For his timing and no one else's. 

It has taught me that his grace truly is sufficient for me. Days I go without are train wrecked. Days where Jesus is the number one flow. 

This winter has also allowed a season of stillness to cultivate new friendships. Coming home in the fall, all my local friends were either super busy with college or far off. And within the last few months, I have developed a deep friendship that I wouldn't have found if I hadn't had this season.

I am thankful for the winter and for the things it has cultivated within me.

One of my favorite music artist's Audrey Assad sings a song called Winter Snow. She sings, "You came in like a winter snow, quiet and soft and slow."

Like the winter snow that so gently falls, calming the world, stilling the wind and trees, was how The Lord came.
So gently He came and told me of the coming season, Gently He has worked the things I've needed for the next season within me.
He came to me like a winter snow.
And now, Spring is coming. The spring is blossoming in my heart.