Friday, March 7, 2014

My God is Faithful

I sit to write this blog that I've been trying to write for about 2 weeks now and I am at a loss of words for how to describe my past five months. So many words float in my head, but none quite fit this indescribable feeling. None of the words would begin to explain how credulously alive I have become. How my finiteness compared to my Creator's infinity has put me in awe. I could say how India taught me so much about myself, but that would pale in comparison to how much it taught me about my Savior, my Friend and my Jesus.

My God is so Faithful.

Those are the only words that even begin to come close. He is so wonderfully, beautifully, and incredibly faithful. His love is so captivating, He has stolen my heart and I'm never going back to what once was.
5 months ago I drove to Louisville, Kentucky with absolutely no idea what I was getting into. I jumped into a lake and had not a clue where the bottom was or what was in the water. I followed God's leading and have been brought to the most glorious place.
5 months ago the Lord took my heart on a journey. A journey I'm still on and one I pray will never end. It has been hard but oh, it has been so beautiful and exciting.
He took this heart and healed it. From my beginning, all I ever wanted to do with my life was help people, love on people. And he has taught me how. He healed the broken places of my heart I never wanted anyone to see. He held me as I expressed every emotion that had been pent-up for years. Sometimes I yelled and got really angry. Sometimes I cried. But oh, how faithful He was. He showed me freedom. He showed me a love deeper than I had ever felt. He plunged into the depths with me. I love going deep. Deep into the ocean and deep into hearts. And now I'm free, now I'm captured by a love that holds me in the sweetest of chains.
India taught me how to love, whether it was holding a woman who just needed to cry into someone's arms as she felt a glimpse of the love of her Savior, or it was holding a little girls hand saying, "I know what it's like to lose a mommy too." Or maybe it was standing across from a girl who knew the love of Jesus but everyone around her didn't, and she didn't know how to keep on going by herself. India taught me that sometimes I can't fix things. Sometimes I can't hold things together, but I can be Jesus' hands and feet to the needy. I can sit in a dark-lit room or sit in the dirt with children and just be the person they need me to be, Jesus. Or I can play with orphans who never knew a parent's love or don't understand what happened to their parents, and I can give them love, but they give me so much more. How is that?
How is it that I went to India to tell them about Jesus, a place that worships 300 million other gods, yet they taught me so much more about Jesus? How does that happen? It's because His heart is for humanity. It's for me, It's for the women that couldn't quite see that the baby in her arms was God's faithfulness to her, when she had prayed to him as a last resort and he had provided a baby after 8 years of praying to false gods. It was for Sweta. It was for Pandireyvadi, and for Keithana and Pavithat and Ama. It was for every single Indian I came into contact with and remember their face but not their name. It was for every one who had a story and I had a privilege to listen to. His love is so deep and so wide. His heart is so big, so strong and so mighty there is nothing He cannot do.
He is the God who has left his trace all over humanity.
He is my God who doesn't just say, "Leah, trust me." He is my God who has shown me why I should trust him. He has proved his faithfulness to me again and again. Over and Underneath, in every single place I might have had an ounce of doubt, it has been obliterated, because I have seen the love and faithfulness of my Jesus and I am never going back. I will choose to follow my Jesus who has become my everything wherever He wants to take me. Because He is faithful and my heart is His.

And now you may ask what is next for me? I'll be in Lancaster for about a month to fundraise and hang out with friends and family, then I'll be returning to Louisville for the secondary school. It is the School of Ministry Development. I will study leadership and develop my calling and my passions. And then this summer I will go on another outreach!

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