prone to wander.

The story goes that the author of the famous hymn with the words that sing "prone to wander", did in fact wander. In the unfortunate story, his adventurous heart took him away from the God he loved, but the question remains if this man returned to the fold of God. His words left deep truth for all of our wanderlust filled spirits to wonder about.

Prone to wander. I've taken these phrases out of context and used them for my heart that loves travel. I love to go, I love to wander, I love to find things that people have never seen before.
The rest of the stanza didn't seem relevant. Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it. Prone to leave the God I love. Here's my heart, Lord, take and seal it, seal it for thy courts above.
I didn't feel as if I were prone to leaving the God I loved. I loved him, of course. Why would I leave him?
But the thing is, when I see these faces. My heart wanders. I wonder why I'm not there with them. I wonder why I'm not with the people of whom my heart desires the most. God has called me here, to Lancaster, PA for this season and it seems as though I will not get to travel to see faces like this for quite a while.

I am so prone to wander. I am prone to get up and walk away from obedience to what He has called me to in the here and now to get to these kids. And to see their love and beauty and to give them Jesus. I am prone to do that, more then I care to admit. If the doors opened right now, and someone dropped an extravagant amount of money to go to India or Nicaragua or Uganda or Swaziland. I would get up and walk away from this in a heartbeat. Don't get me wrong, I love what I am doing right now. I love school, I love studying. But my heart is prone to wander. I would choose being without shower for weeks, not a sanitary piece of clothing in sight and a dirty old backpack any day. It's what my heart was made for. I am prone to wander, Lord I feel it. So maybe, I cannot see how I am prone to leave God. Just up and walk away from Him and His character. I am too much in love with Him to do that. But prone to leave his calling on my life? Sure. Prone to do something his has not yet called me to? Gladly. 

That fact is frightening. 

I can see where Robert was coming from in authoring this song. Here's my heart, Lord, take and seal it, seal it for thy courts above. 

I think Robert must have thought similarly. He starts by singing to the father, and how much he loved him. "Praise the mount! I'm fixed upon it, mount of thy redeeming love."

He had stumbled upon the immense love of his father. He had found it. He wasn't leaving. He praises Jesus for coming and seeking him as a stranger.

Those parts aren't difficult for him. 

It is the third stanza that gets us. He addresses God as Lord for the first time in the song. That's what trips us all up.

I will follow you to the ends of the earth! I proclaim. Because Jesus commanded that. It is easy. 

But will I follow you 3 minutes from my house to my place of employment and share you there where it is harder?

Will I follow Him to my Christian campus and disciple the ones he has laid on my heart?
Will I allow myself to be a disciple?
Will I do the hard task of learning to love here where it is the most difficult?

I am prone to wander. Today I talked to a lady who is from Germany and has traveled to 33 countries. I was immediately in love with her story and her adventure and her travel. I am already devising in my head ways for me to get up and go this summer. What countries could I explore, what cities could I find?
But most of all, I want Jesus to be there with me.
And again, I find myself in this place where his goodness is greater then my desires. Again I find myself in this place where He whispers, "Leah, the heart of man plans his way, But it is I who establishes your steps."

Jesus, you can have this heart. You can have this heart that so much wants to go and be everywhere at once. You can have my obedience and you can have my submission, I trust that you are good in what you do. I trust that when I trust in you with all my heart, you will give me the desires of my heart. I trust that when you change my desires it is for the best.

Here's my heart, Lord, take and seal it. Seal it for thy courts above.