let me see redemption win.

Let me see redemption win. 

My heart is an ocean and the waves ebb and flow, the salty water stings against wounds that I still haven't let the King heal. My heart still holds remnants of brokenness and hurts that resurface in the strangest of ways.

 One part of my ocean is calm and there is happiness on the shore. The sun is shining and there is joy and laughter and growth. There is newness and love and life-

 but on the other side the storm clouds still hold heavy, pulling the tides closer and closer to my sandcastle that I've built so high. There is pride in my sand castle, it is strong. It is my greatest accomplishment. I show the people, "See, look what I've built. Look what I've done. Look at who I am."
"We can rebuild," the King whispers in my ear. He is trustworthy, He always has been since I've given him the throne of my heart. And yet, it is so hard to believe that we could rebuild this. He reminds me of the other side of the ocean. We rebuilt that together. He reminds me how tragic that shore had once looked and now their was joy. 

"Give me this side too." The King says. 

If he is truly my King, I would let him have this part of my ocean too. 

I say okay.

As if on cue, the wave comes and crashes around my castle that I have carefully built. As I watch it crumble, I realize it's strength was a facade, a simple lie held together by beauty and words. I turn and hide my head in my King's chest. I grab a fistful of his shirt as I let the tears flow again, because surrender is so hard and so relieving at the same time. I lean on his strength, I rest in His arms. I let Him hold me.
He lifts me and carries me back to the other beach. "Rest here, trust me to rebuild." 

How can I trust him to do this?? How can I give him the thing that I have been waiting for so long? How do I trust him when all I can say is, "let me see redemption win!"
How do I trust him when all the things I thought were okay are not?

This is familiar territory, this place with secret hurts and walls that I still possess. This place that I find myself in is so familiar. That's how I can trust him. That's it.
I've seen this before, I've done this before. I've known this place.
He was faithful before, He will be faithful again. I look at the place where my sandcastle once stood, and I sigh. All I see now is the sand sparking in the sunset as if I hadn't slaved for so long to protect one last part of me.
I breathe out trust.

Let me see redemption win.
"I will show you, daughter, in a new, unexpected way. I will show you in the way you are not expecting. Let me be the redeemer. And you will see redemption win."