I want Jesus to wreck my world. I want Him to come and ruin my soul. Ruin my soul according to His desires for my life. I want Him to come and burn down every idol I've placed high on a pedestal above Him. I want Him to bring destruction to my selfish heart. I want Him to tear down my walls, the ones that keep me safe inside of this dangerously comfortable life. I want to be tested with provocative questions that convict my soul and leave me barren and open. I want my wounds to be cleansed with something far deeper than antiseptics. I want Him to cleanse away the sin that pushed me to this broken place. Once again. I want my future to frighten me, so I'm sure it's out of my hands.
I don't want to be worshiping idols when Jesus died on a cross and saved my life. Revived my soul. I don't want a selfish, conceited heart. I don't ever want to be so worried about my own life, so caught up in my ridiculous problems, that I miss caring for an orphaned child, a broken spirit and a homeless heart. I don't want to live comfortably. When I fall asleep at night in my warm bed, I want to remember the children that are sleeping under the stars. I don't want these wounds to fester when the Healer tells me to just surrender. I don't want to be the one that weaves a tapestry of my future. I don't want to want when I have all I could ever need in my salvation.
I want my desires to reflect the One who created me. I want to love the least of these.
With absolutely no idea where God's plan for my life is, I'm jumping in blinded. I will walk by faith and not by sight. I will trust his wonderful, miraculous plan for my life. Wherever it may be.
I want to pray this dangerous prayer. A prayer that will take me far from my comfort zone. A prayer that will move mountains of complacency in my life. A prayer that asks to be taken apart but never asks to be put back together again because He tells me "My Grace is sufficient for you." I want the words that slip from my mouth, the words that flow from my pen onto my paper to be genuine. I want to pray a dangerous prayer and mean it with my everything.
Jesus,
come and wreck my life.
Tear it to pieces so that I can be used by you.
And only you.
Give me the strength to do radical things.
Not for me, and my glory.
But so that you can be glorified.
Above All.
