Hope Will Lead Us On

HOPE: to cherish a desire with anticipation; to expect with confidence

TRUST: a belief that someone is good, honest, reliable.

 Earlier this week I came to a realization that if things seem hopeless and a situation is desolate, I take my heart out of the situation and accept the fact that things won't ever change.
I said, "God, how can I hope for this?"
His words came immediately, "Leah, have you seen me be faithful before?"
And I have. I've seen His faithfulness in so many ways. In my broken heart as He healed it in his timing. With so many children in India, Cherokee and at Yolijwa. I've seen his faithfulness come through again and again.
Why was this so hard?
Because Love hurts. And if I choose love in this situation, it will hurt. But it will be worth it because Hope does not disappoint. This truth is whispered to me in Romans 5:5.
It says this
"We rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not disappoint because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us."

It is hope that allows God's love to be poured even deeper into my heart. It is His Love that keeps me thriving.
I will choose to hope. I will allow it to permeate every circumstance I pray fervently for. I will allow it to be the window to the light that shines show brightly just outside the window. I will remember God's faithfulness to me and I will Hope for the future.

Little Wonders

1 Peter 1:9 "though you so not see him, you love him. Though you do not see him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory."

I have not seen Him, but I have come to know Him. It's real and tangible. Although my fingertips cannot touch his face, I can feel him there. Though my eyes have not looked into His, I have seen Him in every sunrise, butterfly and rainbow. I have heard him in every gentle breeze across my soul.
I know him.
The promises he writes on my soul, the way he made me fearfully and wonderfully.
I know him.
I feel him in the soft brush of the breeze. He is the devastating winds to my complacent heart. He is the constant lap of water on my feet, and the waves that destroy my shore.
I know him.
I have tasted and I have seen the goodness of the Lord. Have you felt him the way I have?
I want everyone to experience this love. This deep, intimate place where he speaks life over the death in my heart, where he rises up the ashes of the hopeless winter. It is s beautiful thing to feel emotions with such depth. One of the greatest things of feeling everything so deeply is that I get this relationship. This love that is inexplicable. But feeling things so deeply involves taking others pain as my own. I can feel, I can relate. I can make the hurt mine. So often it weighs me down and crushes my spirit. But promises have been spoken over me this week. It is not my burden to carry, I am here to feel, hold people above the waves and point them to the Lighthouse. My role in feeling so deeply is intercession, love and understanding in the pain. My place is never to be their Savior, never to change their circumstances, but to be a prayer warrior, a lover and a friend. Because I have a God who loves them so much more deeply than me. And that places me in awe. Because not only is he the God of every single person that walks this earth. He is the God of little wonders. Who paints me pictures of his love. Who takes me out into places that seem to have never been discovered before, and he created them just for me to be in awe of his glory and fall in love with him once again. Because I've fallen so deep, I am drowning in an ocean  of love, mercy and grace. It compels me to want to share it with the whole world.

Sing Your Song

"Leah, be a bird. Be free, sing your song." 
These are the words I feel deep within my heart as I spent time with Jesus early this morning. The birds are free, nothing restrains them. They fly to and from. They sing their songs loud. And on this early spring morning their songs became evident to me. One was excited, another was peaceful. One had an angry cry. And they all sang their song. Honestly and freely.
And after a week of learning about my personality, I can't help but make the connection of the freedom I am called to.
Some birds sit on a tree branch for hours. Some fly far and long.
They are all so different. But they all sing their song. They all be who they are created to be. They never conform to one another. They are just themselves.
Why is it so hard to be free? Why do we think it will benefit us to keep the invisible shackles around our wrists that bind us to be someone we are not? Why is freedom so frightening? I'm not sure yet. But I want to live free.
Bondage creeps up so quickly. He hides in the corner of my room. I let him in too often.
India I discovered the life in freedom. I want to keep that with everything in me.
Jesus makes me come alive. So I'll pursue him. I'll be the bird that he has called me to be.
His grace is so evident to me when I choose to walk in stubbornness. His grace is so evident to me when I tell him that I can maintain it all on my own. I don't need anyone.
But, oh How I need Him.
And it's here that I can feel the extravagance of his love, the depth of his grace and the joy in His freedom. Yet I don't want to stay here. I want to find how deep, how long, how far and how great his love is. I want to drown deeper in the ocean of who He is and I want to be so much freer as every weight and chain falls off and I press on toward the goal of the prize of which He has called me heavenward.

For Your Glory

Sometimes I find myself in that place where I cannot put words to the emotions, where I cannot explain the feelings stirring deep within me. This time it was overwhelmed. Not in a bad way, but it's like I'm drowning in an ocean of You. The qualities of who you are weigh on the things I cannot understand, your incredible beauty.

 Oh, how lovely you are.

 Your wrath against my very nature.

 Oh, how holy you are. 

You built the tabernacle to find a place near to me, you built it as a bridge to let imperfection meet the Holy of Holies. 

And because of your great love, now the Holy of Holies resides in my heart. Just think about that! The holiest thing, so bright you cannot see without dying, lives within you! 

 Oh, how phenomenal you are. 

And I'm on my knees again, arms raised high whispering a thanksgiving to my Creator, my Redeemer and my Lover that will never suffice. It's in this place that the pain and the hurt whisper at my heart, persuading me that God has failed me, that I say, "Jesus, I just want to see your face. Please." But it's in that moment when He is so close that I can feel his arms wrapped around me and he is so close I can almost touch him that I can say, "It will be worth it. This will be worth it. I have to believe that." It is in that place that I remember the look on my mom's face when she saw Jesus, when she looked into his eyes and left this earth behind. It's in that place where I remember the man in India see Jesus for the first time, that he denounced all the other gods. They saw Jesus, the met him face to face in that moment, they saw his worth and were willing to give up everything. I have to hold onto that when things get hard and I cannot press forward on my own strength. He whispers these precious promises to me, "Beloved, Be free, Be mine." 

These are all promises I must choose to walk in. I must choose to be loved so I can in turn give it away. Jesus unlocked the chains on my wrists but I must remove the shackles. I must choose to rest solely in his love. This God is not a god who just calls me to serve Him. He served me first, He loved me first. He is God. So worthy of my adoration. So incredibly overwhelming, I'm drowning in all of his attributes and characteristics. I'm amazed at His grace and His love. I'm still breathing, yet I have seen His holiness. Moses had to turn his face, Isaiah had to taste a burning coal, I have Him living within me.

The Holy of Holies lives inside of me!

I'm passionate about Him because He is passionate about Him. Anyone else, it would be pride. But he is God and he longs for his worship. He died for it! 

This is for your glory. This life is offered up to you, for your glory.