Hope is Rampant

The animals were restless, the sky wasn't as dark as it usually was, the stars seemed to twinkle just a little brighter. The sorrow that usually reigned in the shepherd's hearts was nearly nonexistent. The king's usual burdens were lifted, their hearts feeling thousands lighter.

An inexpiable hope was rampant in this city.

A lonely innkeeper, no room left in his home, longed to say 'yes' to the family that gave him a strange sense of peace. He longed for the hope that seemed to leap from the joyful young father and weary mother. Giving all he had left, he said, "It's not much, but the stable has room." He lifted his eyes and knew it was an answer to their prayers. As smiles danced on their lips. The young mother placed her fingers on her large middle. She said "He's happy."

Hope was rampant in this old innkeeper's heart. 

The baby came painlessly, letting out a cry in the night. The cry that initiated hope. It set fire to the anticipation of the years. He came quietly, but the lowly knew. The animals almost danced in their grazing through the fields at night. The earth groaned in expectation of what this meant for Creation itself. The shepherd's watch a host of angels, the most magnificent sight they had ever seen, sing of hope, sing of peace, sing of joy. The night was holy, they knew. The innkeeper watched from his window, as a glow from the fields screamed hope to his hopeless heart. He watched the young family, and for the first time believed the stories his ancestors had passed through the ages. A Savior would come, a Messiah would arrive. Immanuel, God was finally with us. He didn't know how, but there was something about that baby, that tiny baby, that the mother lovingly placed in his arms that ignited a fire in his heart. He saw Love in that baby's fiery eyes. A furious Love that would stop at nothing. A passionate Love that was captivating his soul. 
"What's his name?" He whispered in awe as the baby wrapped a tiny fist around his finger.
"Jesus, God rescues." The young mother smiled.
The scriptures he had memorized as a boy shouted in his heart, "For unto us a child is born, to us a son is given; and his name shall be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace."
He knew this was that baby, beyond a shadow of doubt, this baby was hope incarnate. This baby restored life to his broken soul within moments. This baby made all the hurt of all the years disappear. This baby looked deep into his soul and said, "I AM." And this lonely, old innkeeper, frail and broken, believed for the first time.

Hope was rampant for the world.

Each shepherd that came to kneel before this baby, with nothing to offer but themselves, was changed. They looked into the eyes of Justice and Mercy and felt forgiveness. They looked at their meaningless life, and this baby, The Son of God, gave them purpose for the first time. 
The kings bowed before, repented of their selfish ways, because they had been called by God himself to serve this land. 

Hope was rampant in this city. 

My heart wanders back to that night, 2000 years ago, and as I stare into this Christmas Eve candle-light, a tiny light in comparison the the Light of that peaceful night. 
 "For God, who said, “Let light shine out of darkness,” made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of God’s glory displayed in the face of Christ."
2 Corinthians 4:6
I may never know what it was like to stare into the eyes of a babe who brought life into the world. I may never know what it was to stand in a stable so strongly reeking of hay, to stand in the most peaceful, yet glorious night in all of history. I may never know what it was like to see the moment when history was changed, when Love breathed his first, when hope burst out of tiny lungs into a grieving world, longing for something more. But I know what it is to be pursued by a furious love, to have a friendship with a jealous Savior. I've experienced the faithfulness of my God who not only came as an infant, and died on the cross for my sins, but lived a life to show me what it means to be fully alive.
 The fear and doubt is fleeing. 

Hope is rampant in my heart.

Faith is...

Do you have faith in the fact that I can change your circumstances? Or do you have faith in me that I am faithful even in the midst of your terrifying circumstances and even if I choose not to pull you out of that?

Faith is so many things. Faith is that place where I am standing on the edge of a rock, miles above the ground and I stare into the scenery and I can trust. If God said jump, would I jump?
Faith is when I see the firey passion of a sunset and it screams promises of return. Yet faith is also when I see the faint colors hidden underneath the clouds as the sky slowly darkens and the sun whispers, "Do you remember my covenant?"
Faith is when my world spins faster and seems to stop in the dead of night and I have only the stars, so far away, reminding me of the light.
Faith is taking myself away from the busy, fake lights, and looking at the real ones, that have been placed in heaven for me.
Faith is knowing that the stars are the holes in the blanket that separate me from heaven, they are the glory of God.
Faith is whispering, "I still believe..." through the tears, through the clouds that make the dark night all the darker.
Faith is a funny thing, because I can have so little, I can be like the man in the Bible who wanted Jesus to heal his child so bad who said, "I believe; help my unbelief."
Faith is in God when he says yes. Faith is in God when he says no. Faith is believing He can change my circumstances, but it is trusting in Him when He chooses not to.
Faith isn't always a symphony chorus making a beautiful sound filled with hope and wonder. Faith can be a tear that falls and splashes the ground as I look up and know who my Creator is. Faith isn't always standing on the rooftops and shouting the glories of God filled to the fullest with all of the gifts He has given. Faith can be standing with empty hands and expressing your need.
This week I saw a tiny act of faith that gave me volumes of faith. I expressed my financial need for my trip to India coming so quickly to a family. And a precious little girl gave me all the coins she had in a plastic bag. It was an expression of her faith, that even though it was small, she was giving out of a pure heart, and heart that wanted to see me go to India so I could share the hope that I have with them. She played a vital role, and her giving heart is changing mine, to be grateful and to be faithful.
Faith is little, Faith is small.
My faith is in my God who promises to be faithful even when I am not.
Faith is a heart in a place knowing it isn't enough yet trusting that God is.

Worth It All

I am in the last week of lecture phase. Where has the time gone? This season has been so incredible. I have made some of the best friends in my life, my relationship with the Lord has gone deeper than I ever thought possible, my faith stretched beyond my comprehension.


Something about developing a right view of God softens your heart. One thing I have loved about this season in my life is that I have been encouraged to wrestle with the hard things, wrestle like Jacob with God until morning, until I know, without a shadow of doubt who my God is. I have learned that some truth doesn't come easy, some truth my heart tries so hard to believe but it doesn't know how. I have learned to rest in the arms of Jesus. He is good like that, He will wrestle with your heart, fighting with it to believe the truth, but when you are too exhausted to go on, he lets you rest. He cradles your heart and speaks love over you. I have learned the faithfulness of the Lord. He is unchanging despite my swaying emotions. He is like the sunset. When it is my world that turns, not himself, he paints me a beautiful picture, promising 'I am still with you', as the dark night closes in. He gives me the stars, people in my life who light up the night and guide me to the truth, reminders of the faithfulness of my God. He gives me the moon, which is the Word of God and reflects himself when I can't seem to see him.
My favorite quote was written by a man in a concentration camp, at his lowest point, he carved into a wall, "I believe in the sun even when I can't see it. I believe in love even when I can't feel it. I believe in God even when He is silent." He knew that it wasn't the Lord who had changed, but his world that spun away from seeing the Light of the Son.
He has proved his faithfulness to me, in bringing me through a journey of being closer to His heart. He is patient to my stubborn heart that oftentimes doesn't want to hike the mountain before me, but oh, once on the top the view is incredible. He is my God, who I love learning more about and growing deeper in my love with Him. There is so much more to love, so much more to learn, and this is only the beginning of a beautiful journey.
I've reached this place of freedom. I know I still have far to go.
At times it is hard, and I lift my weary eyes and say, "Oh Lord, how long?" But I have come to this place, where I know that when I am in the arms of my Jesus at the end of this life it will all be worth it. The struggles, the tears, the good times, the laughter, it will all be worth it.Because Jesus is Worth It All.

This song by Rita Springer has been a song   that has really touched my heart this week.

What's next: I'll be home in exactly one week!!! I'd love to see as many of you as possible! Send me an email if you'd like to get together (: 

I'll be home for 2 weeks. I will then come back to Louisville and leave for North Carolina for 10 days for my Stateside Outreach. And then, FINALLY, on January 8th I will leave for India for 6 weeks! I am so excited!! 

Contact me: clayjarsoftreasure@gmail.com

Thanksgiving Outreach Stories

Beyond the stony gravel of the railroad, in a ditch beneath the trees, is a tiny homeless community. Tents are everywhere, trash and burnt out firepits. I'm bundled in two jackets, yet it is the day time. I walk around with a sinking feeling in my chest. This is America, I live a half hour away in one of the richest neighborhoods of Louisville and these people are relying on us to drop off some water and more blankets for the impending cold of the night. My heart breaks.

Anne sits across from me at a soup kitchen. I had sat down here when I scanned the room full of homeless people and picked her out of the crowd. She pours out her life story to me, hungry for someone to listen. She was alone in this crowded room. She told me a story of hopes and dreams, that were soon shattered by someone she gave her heart to, but in a careless moment he cast her heart that was intertwined with his aside. Yet somewhere in her searching for meaning, in her searching for something fulfilling after the pain, she knew that God was with her. He was her constant source, someone she could pray to, someone she knew would answer.

We knocked on a door, hoping for the best, the last 5 doors had failed us. Mary answered and we asked her if we could pray for her or if there was any other way we could bless her today. She almost closed the door, but she later told us, she had a good feeling about us, Jesus had come with us. She said just a week before she had been given more bad news from her doctor and she was about to give up. She felt hopeless, for a moment. Her doctor told her he missed her smile. She said, "But you came, and you were sent straight from God."
Mary told us story upon story, imparted wisdom from her 74 years to our young hearts. She said, "Sometimes when I think about life, it's strange, the good and the bad and I just have to thank God for both."
We blessed her that day, but she blessed us. We needed to hear from her as badly as she needed to hear from us.

So many stories swim in my head. Three days of non-stop ministry and my heart is full. There is so much tragedy, so much homelessness, but there is this hope that lays underneath the surface of it all. Anne felt it, Mary knew it. Instead of being discouraged by the sadness I felt this weekend, I am filled with hope. Jesus is pursuing these people with broken hearts, he isn't letting them feel despair. He nudges them with this hope and whispers, "There is something more."
So when I prayed for Anne, I prayed not that God would take her out of her pain, but that God would send her someone to love on her, be the hands and feet of Jesus, Someone to disciple her, so she would never have to feel lonely in a crowded room again. When we prayed for Mary, we prayed not that he would take away the pain, but that He would be the only comfort she would know, that she would keep living passionately for the Lord, knowing that He is her source.
Mary's smile gives me hope, Anne's story gives me passion,  The homeless man who told us how blessed he was gives me a grateful heart. They have so little, but they have so much hope, even if they don't always feel it, it stirs within their souls.
Because of this weekend, my heart is different. It has a new passion, it has a new hope and I'm so thankful.

asAlThis is a picture of the team I got to serve alongside this weekend. They are so amazing, and I am so blessed they are in my life.

I got to hold a kitty! I miss kitties so much! But the one homeless family had a kitty so I got to hold her!!