It was 5 years ago.
5 years ago when I first learned that words can shatter your world.
5 years ago when I discovered how fragile mortality is.
5 years ago when God changed my life.
I was on my first mission trip. Longing to love my surroundings. Wishing it didn't have to be about me. But a call from home that your mother's health has taken a turn for the worse will keep you chained in two locations. Satan tried to make ruin missions for me that week. Instead, God took a terrible situation and he gave me hope. The children screamed hope in my face with the VBS theme song. The woman we served gently spoke hope to my heart as she shared her stories and her love for the LORD.
It was 4 years ago.
4 years ago when I experienced the first summer without a mother.
4 years ago when I returned to Cherokee.
4 years ago when I fell in love with missions.
I was on my second mission trip. Same place, same people, different heart. I was praying, longing for a child who could resonate with my testimony. And God gave me one. His name was Alijah and for the first time, my broken heart was able to minister to another. For the first time, my sadness had purpose. For the first time, I saw God's love penetrate another broken heart. I was hooked. I wanted more.
It was 3 years ago.
3 years ago when I graduated from high school.
3 years ago when the world was at my fingertips.
3 years ago when I made decisions that would plan the rest of my life.
I was on my third mission trip. Same place, same people, same heart. God was confirming, this was my passion. God was speaking, this was his plan, his beautiful purpose. This was wisdom in the dark. I had so much love for these people. I wanted to pour the hope that God had given me into these hearts. I was a little scared. Could I really do this for the rest of my life?
It was 2 years ago.
2 years ago when I was in Nicaragua.
2 years ago when my heart was healed.
2 years ago when joy radiated from my face.
I was on my fifth mission trip. New place, New people, Changed heart. I was where I was passionate. I was sharing the Gospel freely. I was loving children who didn't speak my language. I was laughing with friends. I was joyful in ways I had never been. For the first time I believed without a shadow of doubt this hope I was giving to hearts. My God is good. My God is faithful. My God is beautiful.
It was 1 year ago.
1 year ago when I was unsteady.
1 year ago when I was on the brink of new decisions.
1 year ago when God gained my complete trust.
I was on my first summer in 4 years where I wasn't on a mission trip. I was a little uneasy and a little unsteady. God was taking me into the unknown for the first time. I was going to be a student, I was going to invest in passions I wasn't sure could be developed. I was trusting God FOR EVERYTHING.
It is today.
Today I am amazed.
Today I am in awe.
Today I have open hands.
Today I'm not on a mission trip. But I am on a mission field. I have been wrestling with this small verse in the middle of 1 Corinthians that can change it all. Paul is talking to the Corinthians about their idolatry and their legalism. They were so bound by the rules or on the opposite side of the spectrum and no caring about rules at all. There was disunity. And in the midst of a passage where Paul surrenders his rights to not following certain rules, that he says this,
"In the same way, the Lord commanded that those who proclaim the Gospel should get their living by the Gospel."
The word living is Zao in Greek. A form of the Greek word Zoe. This is what Jesus talks about when he gives abundant life. Not the life of your mortality, but the life of you living life to the fullest.
Those who proclaim the Gospel should get their abundant living from the Gospel.
Today I get my Zao from the Gospel. It is hard to be the only source of light in a dark workplace. It is hard to write papers and take tests and study. It is hard to be so busy. But my source of consolation through it all is that CHRIST is my center. GOD holds it all. THE LORD directs my path. JESUS saved my soul. the SPIRIT dwells within me. HE is my good news. He is my Gospel. And this is what I will proclaim during school, during work, during my day to day.
Next year I don't know where I'll be.
10 years from now, I can't even dream of what my future will be.
50 years from now, I pray that I look back in AWE, in HOPE, and in utter gratitude.
50 years from now, I hope I look back and say, "I proclaimed the Gospel and because of that, I got my abundant life from the Gospel."
5 years ago when I first learned that words can shatter your world.
5 years ago when I discovered how fragile mortality is.
5 years ago when God changed my life.
I was on my first mission trip. Longing to love my surroundings. Wishing it didn't have to be about me. But a call from home that your mother's health has taken a turn for the worse will keep you chained in two locations. Satan tried to make ruin missions for me that week. Instead, God took a terrible situation and he gave me hope. The children screamed hope in my face with the VBS theme song. The woman we served gently spoke hope to my heart as she shared her stories and her love for the LORD.
It was 4 years ago.
4 years ago when I experienced the first summer without a mother.
4 years ago when I returned to Cherokee.
4 years ago when I fell in love with missions.
I was on my second mission trip. Same place, same people, different heart. I was praying, longing for a child who could resonate with my testimony. And God gave me one. His name was Alijah and for the first time, my broken heart was able to minister to another. For the first time, my sadness had purpose. For the first time, I saw God's love penetrate another broken heart. I was hooked. I wanted more.
It was 3 years ago.
3 years ago when I graduated from high school.
3 years ago when the world was at my fingertips.
3 years ago when I made decisions that would plan the rest of my life.
I was on my third mission trip. Same place, same people, same heart. God was confirming, this was my passion. God was speaking, this was his plan, his beautiful purpose. This was wisdom in the dark. I had so much love for these people. I wanted to pour the hope that God had given me into these hearts. I was a little scared. Could I really do this for the rest of my life?
It was 2 years ago.
2 years ago when I was in Nicaragua.
2 years ago when my heart was healed.
2 years ago when joy radiated from my face.
I was on my fifth mission trip. New place, New people, Changed heart. I was where I was passionate. I was sharing the Gospel freely. I was loving children who didn't speak my language. I was laughing with friends. I was joyful in ways I had never been. For the first time I believed without a shadow of doubt this hope I was giving to hearts. My God is good. My God is faithful. My God is beautiful.
It was 1 year ago.
1 year ago when I was unsteady.
1 year ago when I was on the brink of new decisions.
1 year ago when God gained my complete trust.
I was on my first summer in 4 years where I wasn't on a mission trip. I was a little uneasy and a little unsteady. God was taking me into the unknown for the first time. I was going to be a student, I was going to invest in passions I wasn't sure could be developed. I was trusting God FOR EVERYTHING.
It is today.
Today I am amazed.
Today I am in awe.
Today I have open hands.
Today I'm not on a mission trip. But I am on a mission field. I have been wrestling with this small verse in the middle of 1 Corinthians that can change it all. Paul is talking to the Corinthians about their idolatry and their legalism. They were so bound by the rules or on the opposite side of the spectrum and no caring about rules at all. There was disunity. And in the midst of a passage where Paul surrenders his rights to not following certain rules, that he says this,
"In the same way, the Lord commanded that those who proclaim the Gospel should get their living by the Gospel."
The word living is Zao in Greek. A form of the Greek word Zoe. This is what Jesus talks about when he gives abundant life. Not the life of your mortality, but the life of you living life to the fullest.
Those who proclaim the Gospel should get their abundant living from the Gospel.
Today I get my Zao from the Gospel. It is hard to be the only source of light in a dark workplace. It is hard to write papers and take tests and study. It is hard to be so busy. But my source of consolation through it all is that CHRIST is my center. GOD holds it all. THE LORD directs my path. JESUS saved my soul. the SPIRIT dwells within me. HE is my good news. He is my Gospel. And this is what I will proclaim during school, during work, during my day to day.
Next year I don't know where I'll be.
10 years from now, I can't even dream of what my future will be.
50 years from now, I pray that I look back in AWE, in HOPE, and in utter gratitude.
50 years from now, I hope I look back and say, "I proclaimed the Gospel and because of that, I got my abundant life from the Gospel."
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